One last thing...

Last-minute Christmas drinks in the Lord Edward tonight at 8pm for anyone who's interested.

Christmas Funnery

We're almost finished in the office for the Christmas break. I've still got 15 days holidays to take this year. Except there's only 3 working days left. See the problem here?

Every year, we spend forever deciding who takes the consoles home for the Christmas break. Since the "BAGSY THE DREAMCAST, DOUBLE STAMPSIES, NO REVERSIES" method isn't particularly fair, and the stakes were particularly high this year, we held a Burnout 3 championship to see who would take the Xbox 360 home.

Well, I won.

To be very honest, I'm not interested in the Xbox 360. My TV isn't nearly up to the task of making games like "Condemned" look pretty. But the title of "Burnout 3 Champion"? Oh boy. What a great Christmas present.

(Today, I also got crowned Mario Kart DS champion - sweet.)

Mel Gibson Has Officially Lost It. →

The trailer for Mel Gibson's "Apocalypto" has emerged from the ether with Kottke and others are pointing out how awful-looking it is. And true, at this early stage it's like a heavy-handed mix of Terrence Malick and Baraka (but without any of the nice things such a mix would suggest).

He's got a bit of reputation as a 'prankster' director (on one of the making-of featurettes on the Braveheart DVD, you can see Gibson reading "Directing an Epic for Dummies"). But I'm going to say that this is just a ruse. Gibson has officially Lost It and is now certifiably batshit insane. As evidence for this, I present this image which you will find as a single frame cut into an intense part of the trailer. You'll have to go through the trailer frame-by-frame to find it yourself.

Southpark may have been closer to the truth than we know. Kaablaa!

Christmas Wishlists

Amazon wishlists have never really worked me. Too cumbersome to suit my way of doing things and too limited to suit the things I want a wishlist for. So last year, I began using the del.icio.us "wishlist" tag. If I saw something I wanted, it would get tagged under wishlist+$itemDescription, e.g. wishlist+dvds, wishlist+clothes and so on.

This means that I'm able to keep things out of my head while still keeping them in a central place, one I use every day. But more importantly, it gives me a quick list of everything my heart desires that I can access from any computer on the internet. On my recent, exciting trip to San Francisco, I was able to go into an internet cafe and print out entire shopping lists based on my wishlist tag, Unfortunately, this meant I came back with an armful of DVDs.

But around Christmas, this system really starts to show its strength because it has the advantage of giving people a quick overview of everything I've had my eye on. It paid off. My Livejournal Secret Santa bought me a book from the list - The Mafia Cookbook (Thanks Karena!).

Incidentally, here's my wishlist. In case you were... y'know... curious

Technorati Tags: wishlists, del.icio.us

JCB Song made it to Number 1 →

You know, it might be a bit hokey, but I'm so glad that the JCB song from Nizlopi is number one in the UK charts the weekend before Christmas. It really shows the power of viral marketing - so many people have sent me the link to the video over the past few months - and now it's finally made it to the top of the charts. I don't know if it was the well-deserved success, the amazingly touching song or the fact that I'm a complete pussy, or some combination of these, but I genuinely got teary when I saw them on Top of the Pops.

And it's keeping the Crazy Frog off the top, so that's another reason to celebrate.

Trailer for Sophia Coppolla's new movie 'Marie Antoinette' →

I have to say, I wasn't too impressed with The Virgin Suicides, but I really enjoyed Lost in Translation. So I'm willing to give Sophia Coppolla the benefit of the doubt when it comes to her new movie, Marie Antoinette, a biopic about the life of... well, Marie Antoinette. Right now, it looks like Kubrick's Barry Lyndon set to some 80s New Wave music.

And even if the trailer didn't attract me (and it does), the cast is eclectic enough to pique my interest, with Jason Schwartzman, Rip Torn, Steve Coogan, Marianne Faithful and Kirsten Dunst all running around in period costumes. I'm looking forward to it.

The Ricky Gervais Show →

Ricky Gervais has started a series of podcasts for Guardian Online. And they're off to a tremendous start. The story of how they taught a monkey to fly a spacecraft had me crying with laughter. Some very, very funny looks from around the office. Those few minutes were laugh-out-loud funnier than the entire series of Extras.

(While we're on the subject - the uh.. extras.. on the Extras DVD were also funnier than the show)

In San Francisco →

I was in San Francisco less than 24 hours before a gun was pulled on me. I think that must be like some kind of record.

Yesterday, I took some time out from my aimless wandering to worship at the church of Apple. This place is scary-cool. It's easy to see why people are so devoted to the Apple brand when you see this much care and love in one place.

Mad Hot Ballroom

I didn't want to like this movie. Fifteen minutes in and I had made up my mind that this was just Spellbound meets The School Around the Corner by way of Come Dancing and I was too old and too cynical to be taken in by such a cheap ploy.

But then, around the thirty minute mark, something remarkable happened. These kids stopped being precocious little brats and started becoming likeable creatures. Watching Cyrus' reaction to the results of the initial competition sealed the deal for me. Believe me when I say that we need to watch this kid closely because he is wise beyond his 10 years and almost certainly an evil genius in the making (the director says that when she first met him and discussed her movie with him, he asked if she had secured a production deal yet).

Against my will, I had become emotionally invested in these kids. Their different personalities began to shine through and, by the time of the dancing final, I felt like I was joinging their teachers on the emotional rollercoaster they were riding. And the swell of pride I began to feel watching the kids put in some amazing performances was almost embarassing. It's only a movie, it's only a movie.

Funny without lacking sincerity, sentimental without being po-faced. In spite of myself, I ended up liking this movie.

Dammit.

Mario Kart DS and Clearwire

I picked up a copy of Mario Kart for the DS over the weekend and have been having a great time ploughing through the 50cc and 100cc tournaments. How quickly my muscle memory has returned! Even cuter is the inclusion of some 'retro' tracks - courses I haven't played since my SNES packed it in almost 10 years ago.

One of the major draws of Mario Kart DS is the wireless multiplayer option. Mario Kart has always been about the multiplayer, and the idea of being able to race against people around the world (as well as DS-toting friends) is almost too much to handle. Unfortunately, I can't seem to get connected to the Nintendo Wifi service from home. Or I do get a connection, but it drops while searching for other players.

I've run a few checks on the traffic and it doesn't seem to have a problem on my network. Now, I've heard rumours of Clearwire blocking a lot of stuff, mainly P2P and VoIP things, so this could be the problem. Anyone had any problems with Clearwire blocking stuff?

Technorati Tags: broadband, clearwire, [Mario Kart](http://www.technorati.com/tag/Mario Kart), Nintendo, DS

Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang

My girlfriend tells me that the reason she rarely wants to go to the cinema any more is because she's become disillusioned with movies. This comes from sitting through the near-endless amount of dirge on show this summer. And you don't register a domain like "low brow culture dot com" without being a fan of dirge, so I'm almost certainly to blame.

Apart from being extremely entertaining, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang assures us that there are people working in Hollywood with a genuine love for what they do. Shane Black has done an incredible job of creating something that will appeal to everyone: guns and car chases for the people that like that kind of thing, genuinely sharp and witty dialogue and a complex plot for the people who like that kind of thing.

And lots of beautiful people for the people who don't like either of those things (including a blink-and-you'll-miss-her appearance by the girl every guy I know has a crush on, Shannyn Sossamon).

My vote for film of the year.

Further reading: Shane Black is a terrific screenwriter. For examples of this, you should check out his screenplays for Lethal Weapon and Long Kiss Goodnight. But the piece of resistance is his screenplay for The Last Boy Scout, which contains the following:

INT. DINGY DRESSING ROOM - NIGHT > > Cory and Jimmy are engaged in very hot sex. > This is not a love scene; this is a sex scene. > Sigh. I'm not even going to attempt to write this > quote-unquote "steamy" scene here, for several good > reasons: > A) The things that I find steamy are none of your damn > business, Jack, in addition to which -- > B) The two actors involved will no doubt have wonderful, > highly athletic ideas which manage to elude most > fat-assed writers anyhow, and finally -- > C) My mother reads this shit. So there. > (P.S.: I think we lost her back at the Jacuzzi blowjob > scene.) > >

The Brothers Grimm

I'm a huge fan of Gilliam, but I had heard enough about this movie to know what to expect - Gilliam at his most mediocre. But to be fair, the movie isn't nearly as bad as people are making out. It's got a lot of dud moments, far more than any other Gilliam movie I've seen, and it takes a long, long time to get going. But when it does (roughly around the third act), it is almost worth the previous hour or so of drudgery.

Think of it as a panto writ large and you'll enjoy it a whole lot more.

Dead Meat

Released under the Irish Film Board's recent 'microbudget movie' scheme, Conor McMahon's Dead Meat attempts to drag Ireland's horror movie output from the ditch it was thrown in and left in to die by the insufferably bad Rawhead Rex. And although it was clearly lovingly crafted with a definite knowledge of the genre, it suffers greatly from its lack of understanding of the genre, or the techniques it attempts to mimic.

The premise, although just a rehash of countless previous zombie movies is still an effective way of presenting both a humourous and local view of the situation: BSE has mutated into something that first kills and subsequently zombifies anyone it infects. Having run into car trouble in the middle of farm country in Leitrim, Helena must escape and make her way back to safety while avoiding the hordes of undead (both human and bovine) roaming the countryside.

Somewhat unfortunately compared to Shaun of the Dead on release, Dead Meat is similar to Shaun in that it draws on its rich knowledge of horror movies to create a pastiche of the significant releases, such as Night of the Living Dead and Evil Dead. But unlike Shaun of the Dead, the makers of Dead Meat create their movie without any actual understanding of what made these movies so scary in the first place. As a result, they fumble many of the shots they are aping, sometimes missing by a hair's breadth, but just as often they miss the point completely.

This would be forgivable if the movie had a solid story to support it, but this seems to be missing as well. The story stumbles from one situation to the next without any indication of a solid vision driving it forward. Without a compelling story, it's left to the actors to bear the weight of the movie, and they're just not up to it. It's not until the final act, with the introduction of Eoin Whelan's Cathal Ceaunt character that we're given a something that is genuinely lively and entertaining.

The DVD also features a making-of documentary, which was actually more entertaining than the movie itself.

In the end, it's hard to recommend this movie to people. Fans of the Zombie genre will certainly get something out of it, but what exactly, I'm not sure.