lowbrowculture

collects stories and ideas from John Kelly

Roman Bread Situation: Update

Roman sandwich bread

Since I last spoke about the Roman bread situation, there have been a couple of interesting developments. First, I have found a bread that is capable of holding a slice of ham, a slice of cheese and a slice of tomato without having everything spilling over the sides.

Hooray!

Roman sandwich bread

Except where’s the fucking crust?! Did the bakery not get the note about the crust? I know that there’s a lot of people out there who aren’t fans of the crust on sandwiches and would probably welcome the pre-packed removal of the crust. To these people I say: sack up and realise that a sandwich without crust is only half a sandwich.

But there’s another problem. You probably can’t see it from either of my awful, awful pictures, but each of these small packs contains five slices of bread. Five.

This is kinda like the issue of burgers coming in packs of eight and burger buns coming in packs of six, except you can always eat a burger without a bun, and burger buns don’t have to be used exclusively for burgers. Actually, it’s not like the burger/buns situation at all. It would be more like burgers coming in packs of eight and burger buns coming in packs of three and a half.

Rather than work myself into an early grave giving out about the busted logic behind stuffing five slices of bread into a pack clearly made for sandwiches, I’m off to cry myself to sleep and dream of once again having a loaf of Brennan’s bread.