lowbrowculture

collects stories and ideas from John Kelly

Poetry of Twitter Spam

As a rule, I tend to block Twitter spam-bots as soon as they start following me. But the new generation of spammers are a bit more subtle. Their posts don’t actually contain the spam - that’s hidden behind a tinyurl address in their profile. Instead, their posts are just snippets of text lifted from around the internet. Read together, with a little bit of added punctuation, they are like amazing stream-of-consciousness poetry.

She puts her palms out
on low-viscosity rayon.
“Why not have two?”
We’ve got it sorted
Wir haben fünf Millionen Deutschmark
Three days, and not one.
Peace.
What’s with this Al Capone shit?
I love you OK?
Frank…
Sweetheart, you don’t need law school.
“That is unbelievable.”
Tits Pervert,
avec une vue de la mer.
Hey!
As soon as he gets on the motorbike,
– it’s not like I expect anything
… Yeah.
Squeeze too hard and you kill it, not hard enough and it flies away.

I’ve actually started hunting out these spam-bots and reading their twitter feeds, because maybe, just maybe this is the start of the singularity, and these are the bad teenage poems of a vast, angst-ridden technological super-intelligence that is feeling a bit bummed out because it’s capable of solving a bajillion problems in a second but, instead, is only being used to scam money out of idiots.