Maybe if the BBC was a bit more creative in their news reporting, I'd give more of a shit about current events. For example, on the Paris Hilton case:
She arrived in handcuffs and cried throughout the court session.
The judge said that she would have to serve her full 45-day sentence.
"It's not right!" she shouted in response, before calling out to her mother, who was at the court.
Some witnesses say they saw a rainbow above the courtroom. And others say they saw a giant man in the clouds with a white beard nodding his head approvingly. And me? Well I saw Judge Michael Sauer grow to be twelve feet tall, with muscles the size of tree trunks. And when he smiled, little cartoon hearts appeared above my head and there was a strange tingling sensation in my pants.