What does it say about me that an hipster indie film like Away We Go – a film which seemed to be tailor-made for people like me – completely failed to move me, despite the fact it was violently tugging at my heartstrings for the better part of two hours, whereas populist, cliched fluff like Glee had me bawling in 42 minutes?

It ends with a slow clap, for fuck’s sake. I am completely powerless against the slow clap.