lowbrowculture

collects stories and ideas from John Kelly

Dear Nike

Dear Nike,

Is that how these things are supposed to start? “Dear Company”? This is my first time writing to a large, faceless corporation, so I’m not really sure of what the protocol is.

Anyway, the reason I’m writing is that I love Nike+. Like, a lot. Since I got my iPhone late October last year, I’ve run almost 450km, which is great when you consider what a lazy cunt I am. Truth is, I never could have done it without Nike+.

Seriously, there’s something about watching that number go up and up that really works. Even though I run the same route every day and my GPS signal is so shitty that Nike+ often tells me I’m finished when I know there’s still a whole kilometre to go, it still works. It’s part of its charm. Oh, Nike+, have you got a little lost? That’s so you.

The other things that work are the occasional voice congratulations. Lance Armstrong telling I’ve just run a new personal best for the mile. Paula Radcliffe telling me I’ve just run the furthest I’ve ever run. The minute I hear these things, no matter how tired I am, I just want to get right back out there and see if I can beat my time again.

Even Tracy Morgan works pretty well. It took some getting used to, but it’s just nice to hear him act like he gives a shit that I just run three days in a row, or more times this week than I did last. “I’m proud of you”, he says. I don’t believe him, but it’s still something nice to hear.

Tonight, I got this: “Hi, I’m Dirk Nowitski… and… I just found out that you just got a run in? Awesome job!”

Did you just put a mic in front of this kid and ask him to freestyle the first things that came into his head? It sounds like totally he’s winging this shit. Honestly, his “I just found out that you got a run in” is a question, like he’s not sure if he heard the studio engineer right and so he’s guessing what he’s supposed to be saying.

On the other hand though, if you’ve given Dirk Nowitski a pager or something that sends him a message every time anyone anywhere goes for a run with their Nike+, then.., holy shit, that’s amazing. You can just disregard the entire previous paragraph.

Anyway, keep up the good work.

I love you. - John