Harry Potter Theme Park

Girding my loins today is Universal Studios’ announcement that they will be developing a “theme park within a theme park” based on the Harry Potter books and movies. Covering over 20 acres, ‘The Wizarding World of Harry Potter’ will be a themed ’land’ (like “Frontierland” or “Tomorrowland”) within Universal’s Islands of Adventure in Orlando Florida. Universal say this area will contain contain ‘state of the art attractions’ and ’experimental shops’. Which sounds slightly ominous.

I’m a huge theme park nerd. As I said before, I don’t enjoy the rides as much as just walking around this completely artificial, fantasy world, soaking up all the simulacra. Combine this with the amazing production design of the Harry Potter movies, and you’ve got me hooked.

Click here to see the announcement video.

Insults and advertising

This week, I started an Italian language course which has really been helping me settle in. My pidgin Italian is starting to develop some structure (for ‘structure’ read ‘actual verbs instead of grunts where verbs should be’) and I’m a lot more confident in dealing with people now that I have a better idea of what they’re saying.

Something I’m discovering is just how much you can learn a lot about a country from its insults. For example, one of the worst insults you can throw at someone in Italian is Cornuto, which means “cuckold”. You’ll hear this a lot in football games, Arbitore Cornuto! (“The Referee is a Cuckold!”). The other major insults include “ugly” and “homosexual”. There are loads of other, smaller ones, but these three - ‘cuckold’, ‘ugly’, ‘homosexual’ - are the ones that are likely to send an Italian into a rage and are usually saved for when someone has really pissed you off.

Maybe it’s the armchair psychologist in me, but I think this says a lot about the insecurities of Italian people.

Similarly, you can also learn a lot about a country from its advertisements. From what I’ve seen here, most ads seem to revolve around crime. For the most part, the ‘crimes’ are innocent enough. Like the TV ad that has a woman driver pleading with male driver to let her take his parking spot. She shows him her broken shoes, puts on her best puppy-dog face and the guy lets her in. Once she’s parked, she gets out of the car in - wouldn’t you know it? - perfect shoes.

But they’re not all so cute and cheerful. Adidas recently launched a shoe that has interchangeable gel pads in the soles. These come in all sorts of designs and aren’t really taking off here. The print ad shows a guy hiding from the police while quickly swapping his gel pads for ones of a different design.

And of course, there’s the other major source of advertising inspiration: sex. At worst, back home, these hover around the ‘saucy’ end of the scale. Here, they’re positively explicit. Here’s an example: It’s for a water park in Rome, but it took me ages to realise there was a water park in the picture too. The caption says “Slide with me” although, to me, it will always say “Come to aquapiper and you’ll get to have sex with me!”

(My favourite part of the ad is the “Bambini Gratis!” down the bottom, because the rest of the ad doesn’t make it look like somewhere I’d want to bring a child.)

The hardest parts of living in Rome

Bread

For a nation that loves its carby, starchy foods, they really don’t have a great handle on the whole ‘bread’ situation. They’ve got the giant loaves sorted out, which is fine when you want something big and crusty to dip into soup or for mopping up the tasty, tasty juices on your plate, but average day-to-day bread is a mess. These guys are the cornerstone of western civilization yet they haven’t figured out that a loaf of batch is like manna from heaven? And normal sandwich bread isn’t much better, far too small and far too sweet to be of any use to anyone. I’m feeling like Nigel Tufnell in Spinal Tap.

Bud Spencer

Back home, street-sellers have posters of things like Scarface, Trainspotting and Bob Marley. Which gives us a good glimpse into the mindset of youth culture in Dublin - fascinated by drugs and trashy drug-related movies. Here, they sell posters of uh… Bud Spencer movies. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m a fan of the Bud Spencer/Terrence Hill movies and when I was younger, I loved The Sheriff and the Satellite Kid, so I’m not really complaining. Just confused.

Italian Music

What. The. Fuck? Granted, I haven’t looked very hard, and I’m sure that over the next three years, I’ll eventually find some Italian music that I love but right now I’ve had it up to my fuckin’ harbls with crappy power-ballads. Less Zucchero, more Jovanotti thx.

Fascism

I’ve never lived somewhere that had people actually still promoting fascism as a viable political option. Before I came here, I never heard anyone proudly describe themselves as a fascist. All the other things - the bread, the music, the pictures of Bud Spencer’s giant face grinning out at me from the side of the street - I can get used to these, with enough time. I hope I never, ever get used to hearing someone proudly describe themselves as a fascist.

First picture of Heath Ledger as the Joker

Okay, so he may not have been my first choice of someone to play the Joker in Christopher Nolan’s follow-up to Batman Begins, but I never though Heath Ledger would make a bad Joker. Now they’ve released the first picture of Heath Ledger in Joker make-up, and… my goodness, this is shaping up nicely, isn’t it? I really like the move away from the traditional demented clown look into a more gritty,* Ichi the Killer*-style scar.

Although I still think it’s a shame we’ll never get to see what Vincent Cassel could have done with the role.

(via empireonline)

Shameless self-promotion

I’ve started a food blog, where I review the restaurants I visit in Rome. I dunno, it might be useful if you’re ever in the neighbourhood.

Homesick & Hungry

Breathtaking Irish short movie released online

Nick Ryan, producer on Ruairi Robinson’s “Silent City”, has released the full version of his film “A Lonely Sky” online. Starring Keir Dullea (of 2001: A Space Odyssey) it tells the story of a pilot in 1947 trying to break the sound barrier.

As with Silent City, I’m completely blown away by the amount of work everyone seems to have put into this short movie and the scale and quality of the results. Congratulations to everyone involved.

While you’re at it, you should check out Nick Ryan’s portfolio, for videos of the ads and other short films he’s directed.

Danger: Diabolik

Danger: Diabolik could be the greatest movie I’ve ever seen. Click on the image above to check out more stills from the film and tell me if you don’t wanna see it immediately. Is it a spy movie with a lot of kissing? Or a softcore porno with a really good plot? Either way, it’s features one of my favourite actors, Terry Thomas, so it’s okay by me.

And what’s more, it’s directed by Mario Bava and filmed in Dino Di Laurentiis’ Roma studios, so it counts as part of my Italian cultural learning! Bonus!

Spatial Dissonance

On my first trip here, I experienced what I guess I’d call a sort of temporal dissonance. I was in a taxi, heading up the Gianicolo towards my hotel. The Gianicolo is a hill that sits in the south-west part of the city, meaning that from the top, you have a perfect view of historical Rome on the one side, and a fantastic view of the Vatican from the other. Now, maybe it was just the jetlag, but sitting back in that taxi, I had an of out-of-body experience: I realised that I would soon be living in Rome, a place I always thought of as almost fictional, a mythic place where all the history happened. The rational part of my brain decided this was my only chance to feel overwhelmed by the city before I would have to get on with day-to-day life, and so I sat back, reeling at the weight of it all.

Strangely, this is the only time I have felt this way. Now, I’m cutting across St. Peter’s Square - a magnificently opulent, overwhelming place - on a daily basis and only when I’m halfway across do I gain any sort of awareness; holy fuck! I’m cutting across St. Peter’s Square!

I’m blaming this on everyone’s favourite scapegoat: videogames. When we first visited the Pantheon, I wondered what was up on the second level of the building. In my imagination, I saw a dark place, filled with wooden crates, lever-puzzles and bad guys with Uzis. But hang on a second… Wooden crates don’t actually exist in the real world, not really. They only exist in videogames as containers for ammo and/or health. And bad guys with Uzis? Jesus. Then I realised, I had seen the inside of the upper levels of the Pantheon. Or, at least, a Pantheon. In a videogame. (Tomb Raider perhaps?) And in the end, a tiny part of me was disappointed by the actual Pantheon because I didn’t get to go exploring all its dark corners.

Gears of War has affected my experience of Rome more than any other videogame. The look of the game, the so-called “Destroyed Beauty”, was heavily influenced by Romanesque architecture. For the most part, the game takes place in wide streets flanked by marvelous, oppressive buildings and everything in a massive state of disrepair. Well, this being Rome, there’s no shortage of Romanesque architecture. Or wide streets. Or marvelous, oppressive buildings. But there’s more to this than simple generalities. On Via Nazionale, there’s a building whose long, winding entrance I would swear is the direct inspiration for the Fenix Mansion part of Gears of War.

I’m still blown away by Rome on a daily basis, especially when I stumble across some particularly beautiful place. But still, a tiny part of me is waiting for the moment that the Locust Horde comes pouring out of the ground. Where’s my Lancer?

Point - Counterpoint

Point: Wearing helmets ‘more dangerous’

Cyclists who wear protective helmets are more likely to be knocked down by passing vehicles, new research from Bath University suggests.

The study found drivers tend to pass closer when overtaking cyclists wearing helmets than those who are bare-headed.

Counterpoint: Helmet saves cyclist after truck runs over his head at Milwaukee intersection

The truck wasn’t going to stop, Lipscomb said, so he slammed on his brakes, flipping his bike and landing in the street.

A moment later the truck rolled over his head.

“I didn’t see it coming, but I sure felt it roll over my head,” he told The Capital Times newspaper. “It feels really strange to have a truck run over your head.”

Coping?

A couple of minor breakdowns aside, I think I’m finally starting to get a handle on life in Rome. I’m not exactly homesick, just finding some things really hard. The language barrier has been a lot more of an obstacle than I was expecting. And combined with the distinctly unique Italian way of doing things (which I’m sure I’ll complain blog about in due course), I’ve found myself struggling just to get some stability.

But the stability is slowly arriving. I’m learning my way around, and I finally know where the essentials are, like the supermarket and launderette. I’m even starting to cope with the weather. At the beginning, I would head out and arrive home in a horrible, sweaty mess. Now… well, it’s not as bad. I’ve just been observing the Italians and seeing all the little things they do to deal with the weather. Like not leaving the house between the hours of 12pm and 4pm. Under any circumstances. And always walking in the shade, even if you have to cross a busy street to do this.

There’s another huge factor in coping with the heat: pace. Last week, I was out walking when Toots and the Maytals started playing on my iPod. With this, my pace dropped to a slow, relaxed strut (I challenge anyone to listen to Broadway Jungle and not feel like the baddest motherfucker on the planet). Strangely enough, this change of pace helped a lot, the heat wasn’t as much of an issue. That’s when I noticed that the Italians walk at a similar pace, and with a similar strut although theirs seems to come naturally.