Unleash the Beast

Hilarious article on energy drinks from Gourmet.com:

Measuring up the prose of energy drinks against daily life will lead to all sorts of absurdities:
“Julia, can I get you a coffee?” “No, I have a ton of editing to do, I need the venom of a Death Adder which has the power to strike back.” “How about an espresso then?” “I will bite you in your neck if you do not leave me immediately to the challenges of my intense life.” “Look, we all have a lot of work to do.” “You may have a lot of work to do. I have a lot of work to penetrate with my face, inject with poison, and kill.” “Is that your heart visibly beating through your sternum?” “Yes, it is. Jealous?”

# Jun 29, 2009

Reality Overlay

Now that high end “Smart Phones” are being released with all sorts of built-in doo-dads, like a camera, GPS unit and compass, it means that phones know exactly where they are and what you’re pointing them at. Which leads to some interesting applications:

It works as follows: Starting up the Layar application automatically activates the camera. The embedded GPS automatically knows the location of the phone and the compass determines in which direction the phone is facing. Each [commercial] partner provides a set of location coordinates with relevant information which forms a digital layer. By tapping the side of the screen the user easily switches between layers.

This is all kind of difficult to explain in words - check out the video of Wikitude in action to see what is going on…

In other words, your phone gives you a Terminator-style real-time Heads Up Display for whatever you’re looking at. Imagine the possibilities - cross it with Wikipedia/Wikitravel to give you the most amazing guide book ever. Cross it with an application that “calls” your phone and you’ve got the most immersive Alternate Reality Game ever. Heck, if it knows your demographic, then you’ve got some Minority Report-style personalized ads beamed directly from what you’re looking at. Which might sound annoying and intrustive, but when it’s this futuristic, who cares?

# Jun 27, 2009

Wait, Scratch That, Reverse it

Notice anything different?

My blog was drowning under almost five years of cruft and unfocused babbling, so I’ve decided to do an old etch-a-sketch revamp. Shake it up, start again. This time, less bullshit, I promise. I want to use this blog for writing. Not as a link-dump, or a Youtube proxy (although I’m sure there will be the occasional link and youtube video). Those things will be on my twitter. The old version of the site is still available, but really, where’s the fun in that? We can’t keep looking back. Got to move forward. Onward and upward.

And with that, on with the show.

# Jun 27, 2009

Edge's 100 Greatest Videogames

Edge Magazine (still the best videogame magazine out there) recently published its top 100 videogames of all time. It’s pretty interesting reading and, being Edge, there are a few questionable decisions. But this is what I love about Edge - they occasionally do some wild stuff, but always back it up with good, solid explanations.

Here’s the list along with my statistics.

Legend

Bold - Played, finished Italic - Played, didn’t finish Normal - Didn’t play.

The List

Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Resident Evil 4
Super Mario 64
Half Life 2
Super Mario World
Zelda: A Link to the Past
Halo: Combat Evolved
Final Fantasy XII
Tetris
Super Metroid
Yoshi’s Island
Grand Theft Auto: Vice City
Ico
Super Mario Kart
Pro Evolution Soccer 6
Street Fighter Anniversary
GoldenEye 007
Final Fantasy VII
Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
Civilization IV
Okami
World Of WarCraft
Metroid Prime
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Sim City 2000
Advance Wars
Rez
Perfect Dark
Deus Ex
Shadow Of The Colossus
Katamari Damacy
Project Gotham Racing 2
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
R-Type Final
Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons Of Liberty
Battlefield 2
StarCraft
Virtua Fighter 5
Secret Of Mana
Wario Ware Inc: Minigame Mania
Gran Turismo 4
Rome: Total War
Bomberman
Super Monkey Ball
Company Of Heroes
Quake III
Far Cry
Puyo Pop Fever
Animal Crossing
Shenmue
Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire
Disgaea: Hour Of Darkness
Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2
Chrono Trigger
Counter-Strike
Guitar Hero
Soul Calibur
Tempest 2000
StarFox 64
Pac-Man Vs
Manhunt
Jet Set Radio Future
Lumines
System Shock 2
Darwinia
F-Zero GX
Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved
GTR2
PilotWings 64
Ridge Racers 2
Ninja Gaiden Black
Killer7
Puzzle Bobble (aka Bust-a-Move)
Thief: The Dark Project
Burnout 2
Ikaruga
Football Manager 2007
Doom II
Secret of Monkey Island
Virtua Tennis 3
Robotron 2084
Lemmings
Nights
Phantasy Star Online
Silent Hill 2
Outrun 2006: Coast 2 Coast
Mr Driller
Sega Rally Championship
Tomb Raider
Devil May Cry
Super Smash Bros Melee
Resident Evil
Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door
Gitaroo Man
God of War
Wipeout
Tekken 3
Sensible Soccer
Psychonauts
Crackdown

Statistics

Total played: 72 Total finished: 44

Number of sequels: 55

# Jul 11, 2007

Secret of the Incas

I don’t think anyone actually understands how psyched I am for the release of the new Indiana Jones film next year. When I was younger and my age was still in single digits, I used to wake up extra early so I could go downstairs and watch all of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom before school. Every day. For about a year. And if I had my copy here with me now, I’d probably be watching it now.

I came across a film called “Secret of the Incas”, a low-budget adventure movie from 1954 starring Charlton Heston which seems to be Indiana Jones’ most obvious inspiration. Heston plays Harry Steele (fucking awesome name), a square-jawed treasure-hunter who is determined to find the treasure of Machu Picchu in Peru. Like Indiana Jones, Steele walks around in a big brown fedora and leather jacket.

The similarities aren’t accidental either. Rumour has it that before production of Raiders of the Lost Ark, Senor Spielbergo and George Lucas screened this movie (along with China, starring Alan Ladd) for the cast and crew, to give them an idea of the kind of movie they were trying to create.

Youtube - Secret of the Incas (I) Youtube - Secret of the Incas (II) Youtube - Secret of the Incas (III)

These clips from Secret of the Incas should give you a good idea of how well Spielberg & co. managed to recreate the tone of the earlier movie. In fact, you could go further and point out specific sequences in Raiders that were influenced even by these three clips.

I’d love to see this movie completely, but it’s impossible to buy Secret of the Incas. Nothing on Amazon, nothing on eBay. Even nothing on Bittorrent. Some conspiracy theorists reckon the movie is being ‘suppressed’ by Paramount because of the similarities to Indiana Jones, reckoning that people would be up in arms if they could see how much this film influenced Raiders of the Lost Ark (although I personally think this is ridiculous: if people can’t that the Indiana Jones movies are nothing but a distillation of classic action movie staples, then these people should be banished to the wilderness immediately).

Whatever the reason, I can’t get a hold of it on the internet. Anyone got a copy of this lying around? I’d be willing to pay good (read: not ridiculous) money for it.

# Jul 9, 2007

We've come a long, long way together

My idea of heaven - 1991

My idea of heaven - July 7th, 2007

Slowly making my way through all of these in roughly chronological order. Monkey Island 2 next. I don’t think there’s a bad game in here.

BONUS CONTENT Press Play on Tape perform the Monkey Island theme live. If the first 30 seconds don’t make you smile, I guarantee the last minute definitely will.

# Jul 7, 2007

all your eggs in one basket - followup

Following on from what I said before, I’d just like to point out:

It has begun.

(Sorry Michele, you’ve got my sympathies and I’m not kicking you when you’re down, just making a funny.)

# Jul 5, 2007

Collecting or clutter?

An article over on Unclutterer caught my eye - Is collecting a form of creative hoarding?

As I type this, virtually all of my worldly possessions are sitting in a storage container, waiting for me to pick them up. This includes my DVD collection. I’ve always thought of it as a ‘DVD collection’, never as ‘clutter’. H. has always thought the opposite. Now, I’m beginning to wonder - who’s right here?

For two months now, I’ve been getting by with the stuff I brought with me in my suitcases. And the only thing that I miss is my Xbox 360. I really wish I’d brought that instead of my PlayStation 2. I could be playing Forza 2 and boosting my achievement score right now instead of playing through Kingdom Hearts 2 and hanging out with Ariel from the Little Mermaid. Which, let’s be honest, is pretty fucking fruity.

I tell you what I don’t miss though: my DVDs. I brought a handful in a CD folder – things like 2001, Idiocracy, Spaced – things I could watch again and again. And I’d say I would miss those if I hadn’t brought them with me, but what about the other 1,175?

Let’s pick an extreme example: The Tao of Steve. Will I ever watch it again? I seriously doubt it. It was a bad movie and I didn’t enjoy it when I watched it. I think the only reason I hold onto it is because I had myself convinced that my DVD collection was like some shiny communist state and every disc was equal. So I would no sooner get rid of ‘The Tao of Steve’ than my three-disc Criterion Collection edition of ‘Brazil’.

But they’re not equal. Not even close.

Filling in the insurance forms for the moving company was also pretty eye-opening. Averaging a value of €10 per disc, the insurance on the DVDs alone came to €12,000. And considering the final value of everything was under €15,000, it got me thinking - is this still a collection? Or did it cease to be a collection the minute I started buying things like The Tao of Steve, or Jack Frost, owning them just to own them?

Of the DVDs I own, I reckon there are about 200 that I love. Really love. And I’d be upset if I didn’t have these. That leaves, what… 1,000 DVDs I could afford to let go of?

Anyway, it’s left me with this food for thought. Would I rather: **A: ** keep convincing myself that it’s worth holding onto films like The Tao of Steve, just in case Donal Logue dies a tragic death and its value suddenly skyrockets and I can retire early. or **B: ** sell the cruft on eBay and use the proceeds to buy myself a Macbook Pro and maybe even a nice new Cinema Display.

So - any offers on 1,000 DVDs?

# Jul 3, 2007

King Kong

I’m a total sucker for theme parks. When I was fifteen, my family went on holiday to Florida, home of a thousand theme parks, and I made sure we saw every single one of them. But the thing I love about theme parks isn’t so much the rides themselves but the atmosphere created around each ride. For example, when you’re queuing for the ‘Jaws’ ride in Universal, the queue takes you through Quint’s boathouse. This is a perfectly realised model of the boathouse from the movie, with hundreds of incidental details dotted around the to help convince you that you are actually in a movie.

Also in Universal Studios is a ride loosely based on Dino De Laurentiis’ unsuccessful 1976 remake of King Kong. The audience rides in a cable car around New York being terrorised by the giant monkey, in a series of spectacular set-pieces. Kong appears, shakes the car and yells a bit, and scares the audience. But it’s starting to show its age now, and the animatronics can’t really fool today’s more effects-savvy audience. If you listen carefully, you can hear the hydrolics and steam motors driving every inch of your experience throughout the ride.

Ubisoft’s game of Peter Jackson’s King Kong is a worthy replacement for Universal’s aging King Kong ride.

Following the ‘classic’ Kong story, the game also uses a series of cinematic set-pieces to drive the action forward. These range from rafting downstream while being terrorised by the natives of Skull Island to battling dinosaurs in the middle of a brontosaurus stampede. And when these succeed, they are marvellous, memorable pieces of gaming. One of the most spectacular moments comes when the action shifts - one minute the player is controlling Jack, who has no choice but to run from the larger beasts on Skull Island (a luger and a spear will not trouble a T-Rex). The next minute, the player controls Kong, who can swat these monsters away in a tremendous show of power.

The story is mostly told by the bits in between the set-pieces. Through some fantastic voice-acting by the cast of the movie, we are presented with personalities that are as three-dimensional as their graphical representations.

But it’s in the atmosphere the game creates that it really succeeds. The island, dense with terrifying creatures, feels like an actual living, breathing place. There are hundreds of incidental details littering the environment to heighten the player’s experience and convince them they’re in a movie. Or on a ride. This is also helped by the lack of a heads-up-display - there’s no bar to tell you how much health your character has, or how many bullets are in his gun. This is all done through brilliantly-implemented visual and aural clues. There’s a wonderful moment in the 4 minute clip of King Kong movie where you get to see Skull Island from Kong’s Mountain. And I thought “Y’know, from this angle, this place is beautiful. Down there, it’s horrific”, as if I’d actually been there.

And this atmosphere isn’t confined to within the game itself. Along the way, you unlock ’extras’ within the game. These mainly consist of ‘galleries’ of WETA artwork for the movie. But instead of presenting these as flat image files, we get to experience them as though we were walking through an exhibit in a museum. And this is so perfectly (yet simply) realised that you can almost smell the dust in the air.

There’s a lot to praise about this game, which is made even more stunning by the fact that it takes roughly 10 hours of average playing to complete. Now, there’s a whole other post about value for money with games you can finish over the course of a weekend. But for this one, I’ll just say yes, it is definitely worth it.

# Jun 27, 2007

Manhunt 2 and Censorship

I’ve been pretty busy for the past few days and I’m still catching up with the stuff that happened last week. Like the Manhunt 2 furore.

For those of you that don’t know/care, last week, the [Irish Film Censor’s Office](http://www.ifco.ie decided to make a prohibition order against the upcoming game, Manhunt 2, making it the first videogame ever banned in Ireland. A moot point, since over in the US, the Entertainment Software Ratings Board gave Manhunt 2 an Adults Only (AO) rating and the three console manufacturers have said that they will not allow AO-rated games to be released for their systems.

Civil Liberties

Anyway, you can can imagine the the reactions the the IFCO’s decision. An anonymous commenter on IT Law Ireland:

So lets ban any story, film, news report which contains violence and go about life in ignorance, as they want us to. God help us all, next thing banned will be the great sculpture of David done by Michelangelo because it contains nudity.

And naturally, boards.ie went into hysterics. My favourite quote from the 7-page long Manhunt 2 thread being:

Personally, I think the idea of completely banning any game from a country is an outrage, and a blatant infringement of civil liberty.

That still makes me giggle.

Strangely, I find myself agreeing with the censor. In their statement regarding the prohibition order, they said

IFCO recognizes that in certain films, DVDs and video games, strong graphic violence may be a justifiable element within the overall context of the work. However, in the case of Manhunt 2, IFCO believes that there is no such context, and the level of gross, unrelenting and gratuitous violence is unacceptable.

And you know what? This all sounds perfectly reasonable to me. John Kelleher has proven himself to be an extremely liberal censor, and prohibition orders are typically reserved for the most hardcore porno. Think about it like this - this is the film censor that let Hostel through. This means that Hostel, one of the most brutal exercises in Gorenography I have ever seen, has more of a context for its violence than Manhunt 2. (For reference, here is their ruling - ‘strong’ across the board.)

I also agree with the censor because I am not convinced that, on its own, classification of movies or games is an effective way of preventing children from being exposed to indecent material - I just don’t think it actually works. As someone who was exposed to a ridiculous amount of horror films as a child (thanks, Gar, for letting me watch the Exorcist at age 5), I believe that if you don’t want children being exposed to something, you should make it as difficult as possible for them to get their hands on it. In most cases, by banning it.

This goes double for videogames, where lazy parents often dismiss the graphic content of games simply because they are ‘games’ and will happily buy Grand Theft Auto for their 10-year old just to keep him quiet for a few hours.

Hardware Solution

The big “however” at the end of all this is that all this could be easily avoided if the rating system was used in conjunction with parental controls. These days, most media-playing devices (including modern games consoles) have parental controls built in. If you want to watch a movie or play a game above a certain age-rating, you have to enter a password. But the problem here is that hardly anyone uses these parental controls because hardly anyone knows about them.

Maybe it’s time they were turned on by default, and bugger the inconvenience?

# Jun 26, 2007

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