lowbrowculture

collects stories and ideas from John Kelly

Middle Age Perspective on Lady Gaga - Just Dance

I’ve had a little bit too much

All of the people start to rush (Start to rush by)

A dizzy twister dance

Can’t find my drink or man.

Where are my keys, I lost my phone.

What’s going on on the floor?

I love this record baby, but I can’t see straight anymore.

Keep it cool what’s the name of this club?

I can’t remember but it’s alright, alright.

Just dance. Gonna be okay.

Da-doo-doo-doo

Just dance. Spin that record babe.

Da-doo-doo-doo

Just dance. Gonna be okay.

Duh-duh-duh-duh

Dance. Dance. Dance. Just dance.

Wish I could shut my playboy mouth.

How’d I turn my shirt inside out? (inside out, right)

Control your poison babe

Roses have thorns they say.

And we’re all gettin’ hosed tonight.

What’s going on on the floor?

As someone who is approaching middle age, this song fucking terrifies me. In a best-case scenario, this girl is blind drunk. Worst-case, someone has slipped something into her drink (which make me worry about the answer to the question of “How’d I turn my shirt inside out?”).

In either case, it’s not ‘alright’, it’s definitely not ‘gonna be okay’, and she should absolutely not ‘just dance’. This is the last thing she should be thinking about right now and will only make matters worse. She should find her ‘man’ (unless he’s the one who spiked her drink), or phone someone to come pick her up and take her home so she can get into her pyjamas and get a good night’s sleep.