Suspended

Over the weekend, while my wife was away, I came up with a few dumb ideas for things to keep me busy. One was an iPhone app that’s maybe a little too PG-13 for this blog - let’s just say it involved dicks and iPhone pictures thereof. The other was a twitter bot that would reply whenever someone tweeted one of the main lyrics from Ice Cube’s Today was a Good Day. You tweet “Didn’t have to use my AK”, it would reply and say “@foo didn’t have to use his AK. Today was a good day”. I spent about an hour writing it and launched it on Monday night.

I guess some people didn’t get the joke (although I was amazed at the amount of retweets and favourites it got), because the account was suspended today.

This is my first time seeing the Twitter “account suspended” page and I’m amazed. I’m amazed at how stern it is. I’m amazed that there’s nothing you can do about the fact your account has been suspended except tick the two checkboxes which say “I promise I’ll be good from now on”. I’m amazed there’s no contact details if you want to appeal this decision. But mostly, I’m just amazed there’s no option to say “Fuck it, this joke isn’t worth it - delete this account”.

Finding Goatse: The Mystery Man Behind the Most Disturbing Internet Meme in History →

I never thought I’d say this about Goatse, but this genuinely beautiful article. And a great way to close a chapter on a period of internet culture.

‘Out There’ at the Barkley: Portraits From the Edge of Endurance →

The Barkley is the world’s toughest race you’ve never heard of. With 59,100 feet of climb and decent over 100 miles, it’s considered the most difficult endurance event on the planet. In its 25-year history, only twelve men, the same amount of men who have walked on the moon, have actually been able to finish the race.

Before and after shots of some of the competitors. Look at these faces. These people have stared into the abyss.

10 Alternative Disney Posters

10 Alternative Disney Posters

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Is this some kind of joke? There’s no way this isn’t deliberate.

Chocolate Falcon

She doesn’t look like much, but she’s got it where it counts

Wil Wheaton's new board game webseries

wilwheaton:

My new show, #Tabletop, premieres today. Episode 1, Small World, with @day9tv, @grantimahara, and @jennabusch is LIVE! 

Table Top Episode 1: Small World (by geekandsundry)

Give me a tab →

Lou: You gonna order something, kid?
Marty McFly: Ah, yeah… Give me - Give me a Tab.
Lou: Tab? I can’t give you a tab unless you order something.
Marty McFly: All right, give me a Pepsi Free.
Lou: You want a Pepsi, PAL, you’re gonna pay for it.

Kids today watching Back to the Future would be just as confused as Lou. What the fuck is a Tab? What the fuck is Pepsi Free?

Full circle.

Adults Should Read Adult Books →

Joel Stein - Adults Should Read Adult Books

The only thing more embarrassing than catching a guy on the plane looking at pornography on his computer is seeing a guy on the plane reading “The Hunger Games.” Or a Twilight book. Or Harry Potter. The only time I’m O.K. with an adult holding a children’s book is if he’s moving his mouth as he reads.

Translation: I am insufferable cunt.

Honestly, there’s not a sentence in his article that I don’t find absolutely hateful. Using Thomas Pynchon and David Foster Wallace to show us how well-read you are is total bullshit (I know this because it’s the exact kind of total bullshit I pull myself).

Should have sent a poet

For all the complaints about the Smithfield Horse Fair, what happens if they take it away? We miss out on pictures like this.

Of a Garda.

Pushed into a pile of horse shit.

With a massive horse wang hitting him on the head.

Amazing.

(via Meanwhile, At The Smithfield Horse Fair - Broadsheet.ie)