Speaking of taking shits, here’s Disney popping a squat all over my childhood. Thanks, Disney.
Archive for the ‘General’ Category
Cannot be unseen
The geniuses over at 4chan have pointed out that turned on its side, the ESPN logo looks like Master Chief taking a shit.
Add this to the list of things that can’t be unseen, including the arrow in the FedEx logo, the bear in the Toblerone logo and Lisa Simpson Giving a Blowjob in the London 2012 logo.
Tree of Life
Carl Sagan, astrophysicist and all-round nice guy once joked that ‘if you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first invent the universe.’ For his new film, The Tree of Life, Malick takes his traditional non-linear storytelling style to its illogical conclusion: If you wish to tell the ultimate non-linear story of a child growing up in the 1950s and his progression into adulthood, then you must first show the creation of the universe and the emergence of life on earth. And since you’ve already got the special effects artists going, why not throw why not throw in a couple of shots of the heat-death of the universe too, just for good measure?
Malick’s films are introspective, philosophical essays draped over a story. The Thin Red Line, for example, ostensibly told the story of the fighting in Guadalcanal, but spent a large part of its running time with Jim Caviezel and Ben Chaplin musing about the nature of being. The Tree of Life has the flimsiest story of any Malick film so far. For that matter, it also has the flimsiest philosophising. But this is no bad thing. At times, Malick has a tendency to bludgeon his audience with the point he is trying to make. ‘Right now, you should all be thinking about how life is fragile and life is precious. Once you are all thinking this exact thought, we can move onto the next point.’
Instead, what The Tree of Life gives us are suggestions. There’s very little action, and very little narration. At times, it’s almost Koyaanisqatsi-like in its refusal to present a direct point
I think Roger Ebert nails it when he compares the film to a prayer
Many films diminish us. They cheapen us, masturbate our senses, hammer us with shabby thrills, diminish the value of life. Some few films evoke the wonderment of life’s experience, and those I consider a form of prayer. Not prayer “to” anyone or anything, but prayer “about” everyone and everything. I believe prayer that makes requests is pointless. What will be, will be. But I value the kind of prayer when you stand at the edge of the sea, or beneath a tree, or smell a flower, or love someone, or do a good thing. Those prayers validate existence and snatch it away from meaningless routine.
At the end of the screening I attended, the credits began to roll and a single audience member started to clap. No-one joined in. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I didn’t clap because it didn’t feel right. Would you clap a deeply heartfelt prayer?
The Sundays – Here’s Where the Story Ends
The Sundays are the only band whose songs still manage to make me feel like a heartsick teenager.
Star Wars in Italian
I know I tweeted this a while back, but I’m still blown away by the Italian names for the characters in Star Wars (or, as it’s called here, Guerre Stellari). E.g. Ian Solo. IAN!
Portal 2 ‘Controversy’
Father realises there are a lot of jokes about Chell in Portal 2 being adopted, flips out because his own daughter is adopted. The father says “I didn’t know what to do, I still don’t know what to do.” Translation: “Is there anyone I can sue for this? I need to make bank off of this somehow.”
This father probably wouldn’t have such a problem with the game if he’d just sit down with his adopted child and have The Conversation. He says it himself – “It throws the question, the most ultimate question that child is ever going to have for you, and it just throws it right in the living room.” In other words, he’s not ready or willing to talk to his child about her adoption, and until he does, anything that mentions adoption — especially if it portrays adoption in anything less than glowing terms and, as such, makes The Conversation more difficult for him — is unacceptable. I say: man the fuck up and talk to your child.
Thundercats Are Go. Again.
Trailer for the Thundercats reboot, which is coming to Cartoon Network later this year. By the way, be real careful clicking through the ‘related videos’ on this one. Furries just love them some Thundercats.
I Knew It Was You
Did you know that John Cazale acted in just five films before he died of lung cancer at the age of 42? But holy shit, what five films they were: The Godfather 1 & 2, The Conversation, Dog Day Afternoon and The Deer Hunter. Each one of them was nominated for best picture at the Academy Awards, thanks in no small part to Cazale’s amazing work. Take Dog Day Afternoon, for example. I can appreciate Sidney Lumet’s great direction and Al Pacino’s terrific acting, but the most heartbreaking moment of that entire film — what I consider to be the heart of that film – is when Sonny (Pacino) asks Sal (Cazale) which country he wants to go to and Sal says “Wyoming”. It’s a tiny moment, but the sadness and pathos in that scene is almost crushing. And it was improvised. Goddamn.
Anyway, there’s a 39-minute documentary/retrospective on Cazale up on Youtube called I Knew It Was You. Everyone should check it out. Seriously.
Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four
(Via Metafilter)
The Adventures of Tintin Trailer
L.A. Noire is almost here
Have I mentioned how excited I am about L.A. Noire? I don’t think I have. Red Dead Redemption was my favourite game of last year, and I’m not even a fan of westerns. On the other hand, I love the neo-noir genre, so I have high hopes for what Team Bondi can bring to the table.
Since there are only a few short days until the game’s release, Rockstar’s media blitz has started in earnest. First, they’ve posted information about game’s soundtrack, including a few sample tracks. All note-perfect, with slow, smokey brass and double bass. If nothing else, the soundtrack shows us they’re taking the whole thing seriously. This isn’t some tongue-in-cheek pastiche. (On a similar note, check out the game’s trailer – sure, it shamelessly lifts massive portions from L.A. Confidential, but at least they got someone who can do a credible Irish accent, compared to James Cromwell’s dreadful begorrah-and-begosh bullshit.)
They also released details of L.A. Noire: Remixed, an EP which they describe as a “collection of jazz classics from the game’s soundtrack re-interpreted by some of today’s most acclaimed DJs, producers and remixers.” It sounds fantastic, although I’m not entirely sure Gene Krupa was ever meant to be mixed with a wah-wah pedal.
They also released information about L.A. Noire: The Collected Stories, an collection of original short stories by contemporary writers including Joyce Carol Oates and Joe R. Lansdale. To give people a taster, mulhollandbooks.com has posted Lawrence Block’s story, “See the Woman”. Considering how heavily the game has been influenced by the novels of James Elroy and the pulp novels of the 1940s, this anthology completes the image of a snake eating its own tail.